me: *goes to bed at 5am*
me: *is shocked, angry and doesnt understand why i keep waking up at noon*
aliens: land on earth
us: gives them a brief overview
aliens: my mama says i gotta come home right now immediately
"um… ur bra is showing"
ppl my age have children what the hell i am a children
put peanut butter on a pinecone and roll it in bird seed. hang it up outside. wait.